Who TF Did I Marry: What we can learn

For two weeks, a woman by the name of Reesa Teesa had the entire internet in a chokehold...including me. While cleaning, doing laundry, walking around campus, and riding the bus home, I was hooked into this story. As a journalism major I couldn't resist a juicy mystery!

After her story rocked the social media world for several weeks, thousands came out with their own thoughts and opinions about it and I would like to add to that growing number. Although the story is absolutely insane, I feel like there are some big lessons we can learn from it too. 

One of the things that I've had to come to terms with as a journalism major is that what may raise eyebrows for me, may not concern other people. While listening to Teesa's story, I heard a list of things that didn't add up about the man she was seeing and could easily be verified online. But not all women may know where to go or how to do background checks. 

Reesa Teesa's story shows how a background check can go a long way for your safety. In a perfect world we could trust that the person we want in our lives has pure intentions and wouldn't do anything egregious to us, but unfortunately we don't. We live in a world where we have to do our due diligence and check to be safe. 

In the story, her ex-husband who is referred to as 'Legion' lied about his place of employment, work hours, family, financial status, and health. As Teesa began to connect the dots and find out more, she realized his whole life was a lie. 

Background checks can provide you with information that may be deal breakers that most people wouldn't voluntarily share, like criminal records. Especially if you met them on a dating app. At the end of the day, you don't know who the person is and have never met them before. 

We've all heard that self-love is important and that we need to have it. Self-love is not about being conceited or a narcissist, it's about loving yourself enough to know what you do and don't deserve in life. Whether that's friendship, romance, family, or work-related. We all deserve healthy, happy connections that help us grow as people and explore different parts of ourselves. 

Several times throughout her story, Teesa shared that she was in her situation because she wanted to be married and have a family so badly. Although those things are beautiful and can change us for the better, with the wrong person they can cost us our lives. So it's extremely important that we be cautious and do a background check on anyone we want to seriously involve ourselves with.

Another aspect of self-love that is not talked about often is...it's really hard. Self l-ve means letting go of that really cute guy you wanted to get to know better but the only role he's ever played in your life is Casper the ghost. Self-love means walking away from a friend who doesn't reciprocate your efforts to stay connected and only uses you. Self-love means taking the less traveled road because you know the treatment you were receiving before is not what you deserve. 

Many people crave companionship and someone to share their lives with. It's natural and part of being human. When we don't have that, life can get tough and a little lonely. But not investigating something that seems off about a person can come with a heavy price. Unfortunately, there are many women who have lost friendships, family members, money, housing, jobs, or a car because of a toxic or abusive relationship. Tessa's story shows us that doing some digging and following your gut instinct when things don't feel right can save you time, money, and emotional pain.